Sometimes i wish i could see the person i used to be years ago again , sometimes i wish i could know the person that i used to be years ago again ….BUT I NEVER WANT TO BE THAT PERSON EVER AGAIN…i don’t wanna be that person who feels too much , who says too much , who thinks to much , and lets everyone and anyone in , because that person at the end of a busy day ( which concluded with million different conversations with million different people ) was alone and deserted , with an overthinking mind and overfeeding heart …
sometimes i wish i could feel the person that i used to be again ( that person was real ) , this one is a walking shell of someone, i don’t recognise .
– Jewels William Estrada
It’s not like the glum of this day didn’t take its toll on both of them . When words are thrown at each other …arguments are put forth .. some salty tears shed here and there with a broken black with two pink strips of a coffee mug , its only fair to lose the sensations of your body and just be in that calm , numb state both inside the mind and on outside. The state where you want to let things come in , shred , stab or tear you apart , but at the same time the mere odd thought of investing in it makes you cringe. So here in different rooms two sets of eyes lay wide open, stinging from both previous and the new impending tears . He knew he needs to get up and cross the ten steps between the two rooms and then seven more to reach her where she is laying and a thousand more to reach where her heart drummed just for him. She feels before she sees the bed dip and someone approach her with careful movements . She knows the smell , recognizes well , though that doesn’t stop her from flinching when she is pulled in by the said arms with closer, careful steps . She feels the need to push away since the button on his shirt is right next to her nose and if she doesn’t move its gonna itch in the morning , but the said body wraps around her smaller and erupts a soft “please just let me hold you this one time tonight”. She tried to find the reasons to move away , the button itching the nose considered an important one … but then she decides to test if a human body can let her have a more peaceful sleep than her friendly brown everyday cushion. Reasoning with herself that this test is the only reason , she curls up with a painful tiny smile hoping of sleeping peacefully for once , again !!!!!
– Jewels Estrada
Somebody once years ago said a line to me ….a seven words line ….which i still remember on the dark days . Now the books , the novels and the movies say remember the good and forget and leave the bad . But my question is how do you forget or leave it ???? what if you want to leave it …..but the line itself doesn’t want to go ?????. Now i am standing here and looking up the sky and wondering !!!!!!
– Jewels William Estrada
So much history in my head …the people i’ve left…the ones that i’ve kept ….have you heard me on the radio…did you turn it up ???? on your blown -out stereo….in suburbia !!!!